On WINNING ROULETTE

Hello, I'm Lucky Ned! That "lucky" handle is what we gamblers call a misnomer, meaning that I'm not lucky. I'm smart! Smart as the smartest rocket scientist, only my science isn't rockets, it's what the casinos naïvely call "gambling." When I walk into a casino, the owners tremble and hold emergency meetings to figure out how they can stop me before I drain their bank accounts. I'm that smart.

Thanks to my smartness, I have created "systems" for winning at games. I've mastered all kinds of games, from whupping my niece at "Go Fish" to walking away from a blackjack table with every chip in the joint. Because I am not only smart but also very nice I am going to let you in on a few of my secrets for roulette.

Roulette is French for "gentleman's wagering wheel game" and it was used in ancient times when the great Monarch of France would play the game against slaves for their lives. The ball was originally a pebble and the roulette wheel was a square until Jesus Christ finally invented the circle. In those days, the number zero did not exist, neither did any numbers higher than 16. I'm not trying to show off my smarts with this information, I'm just giving a little background that will help you better understand the subtle ins and outs of the "gentleman's wagering wheel game".

The Feeling

Many of you are already aware of my incredible skills of intuition. I sense a good situation and I pounce. I sense a bad situation and I skedaddle. But for the challenging game of roulette, you don't need intuitive abilities as powerful as mine.

Ask any of these so-called mathemeticians about the "feeling" and they will laugh at you? Why? Because they are too busy in their ivory towers to understand that there are forces beyond our small minds. I understand, and you probably do too. I do not need to tell you what the "feeling" is because you will know it when you feel it. You will feel it in your nose. Walk up to any table, get as close as you can, and see what you feel. Trust your nose. If your nose says you'll win, sit down. If your nose says you'll lose, walk away. NOTE TO ADVANCED PLAYERS: You can still play even when you feel you are going to be unlucky. Just bet the opposite of everything you would have otherwise bet.

Some casinos are kind of touchy about letting you get near their roulette wheel. I have been dragged out of a few casinos and the security always says I am not allowed to tamper with gaming equipment, but the truth is THEY'RE AFRAID OF ME and my WINNING METHODS!

So, if the casino keeps you from feeling up the game, and you can't otherwise get a sense of the action, use this 100% ACCURATE METHOD: before betting any of your hard earned money, pick a number and watch to see if it comes up. If it did, this is your lucky wheel. If it didn't, ask yourself if the ball WANTED to land in that hole. Did it feel like it did? If the ball was leaning toward your number it is still a good sign. Let's face it, you won't win every time, YOU'LL ONLY WIN ALMOST EVERY TIME. Put your money on the table and get to work! Can't think of a number? Go here for a suggestion.

by Lucky Ned IndrediSystem